hopefully, this post won't get published

Because if it does, it means I’m still pregnant.  I was pretty determined to have this baby over the weekend.

Ever since my doctor said “any time now!” it’s been one big waiting game around here.  Don’t make any plans!  Lots of “we might do that, but who knows!”  It’s got its ups and downs, because on one hand - lots of free time, and we’ll be grateful that we’ve kept the house clean, the laundry done, and the groceries stocked once she does arrive.  On the other hand, no plans means……absolutely nothing at all to do.

We kept ourselves busy this weekend by doing crazy things like cleaning out our storage space (well, I directed from a chair, but you know) and going out on dinner dates, and seeing a movie; we decided on Chef by the way- so good!  So cheerful! I would highly recommend it.

In spite of all that, I am basically really ready to have this baby.  I am making good progress, and I do expect to have her by my due date so that’s an upside, but the downside is that two-ish weeks seems like an eternity right now.  To pass the time?  We’ll be walking, and running errands, and keeping the laundry done, and just generally trying not to go crazy waiting for her.  We will try to enjoy these last few days of “just us two,” but to be honest, I can try and make that sound romantic but that won’t make it so - we are done being just us two.  We are so very ready to be a threesome.

Claire’s birthday will be, to me, at the absolute best time of the entire year.  First of all, summer is everything - in my mind it always has been and always will be.  It’s when all the magic seems to happen, and the best time of anytime like that is of course the very beginning.  The tippy-top.  When nothing’s been spoiled yet, and there’s only possibility and hope and dreaming of what’s to come.  When those first warm days in June pass through and you remember what it’s like to still feel warm even when the sun goes down, and every drink tastes better and weeknights don’t even really feel like weeknights.  That’s when she’ll be born, right at the époque of possibility - a fact I hope shapes her whole life and person.  This year I feel like there are potential fireworks at the end of every exhale.  Every warm and windy morning could be the day that I get to meet her.  

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